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Seducers > Field Reports Field reports from successful seducers.
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Who I am today bears little resemblance to the person who first typed “how to attract girls” into Google, and was brutally awoke to the reality of who I was. See for me, discovering pick-up wasn’t like waking up to a world of riches to be plucked, I awoke to the messy reality of the person I was. It was clear that before I even started thinking about women I had some change work to do.
What we’re talking about here is someone who had only ever worked in retail, chain smoked, had very few friends, and was basically a loser with some unrealistic fantasies about sex. Comparing that person to someone now who has a well-paid corporate job, is starting their own business, gets sex with new girls frequently, has an abundance of really great friends, and is doing some very exciting and cool things with their life.
The smelly bedroom nerd who goes out night after night with no social skills trying to ask women their opinion gets nowhere slowly. Personal development is crucial. You have to learn to be cool socially – that means changing habits and trying new things.
But as long as you’re improving as a person, there are several challenges that will need to be overcome again and again. Being aware of these “traps” makes that a little easier and ensures you’ll reach the end goal.
Two examples:
1. Being frustrated when elements of your old self crop up.
Habits can die hard, especially social habits. You have to be very tolerant of this as you change yourself. You can’t expect to polymorph over-night and likewise you can’t micromanage social habits. You have to change these things slowly. If you start thinking about every little thing then you’re heading very quickly for a world of pain and self-consciousness.
So the trick… let go. Expect nothing. Leave your self-analysis for back-home – when you’re out interacting with cool people just have fun. If you do something weird which is some old habit you had, just make a note and move on. Tackle it later. You’ve got to go easy on yourself.
For example I used to have this really nasty streak where I’d start to vent venomously about how bad things were for me (public self-pitty… not an attractive quality). I realised it needed to go of course, but making that decision was not the last time caught myself falling into the habit... no, I did it many times after that. It died slowly.
It took a little self-awareness, but self-acceptance and patience were absolutely crucial to my success.
2. Feeling defeated, feeling confused about what you need to do, and feeling like you’re getting nowhere.
You’re going to fuck up. Accept it. Things will go wrong, again and again. No-one succeeds with everything they try and do. You may have shit nights where you end up thinking “what do I do now?” and have those feelings of being lost and confused.
It happens to everyone on their journey – just roll with it.
The trick is to learn to pick yourself up. Accept how you’re feeling, let it go, subtly alter some of the things you were doing, and try again. Don’t be tricked into thinking you haven’t improved, that’s just how defeat related emotions can make you feel.
Approach development with an attitude of limitless persistence, but also changing your approach when things don’t work.
Think of an inventor. They fail 100 times, but every time they make an adjustment, then they get it right once and that’s it – they’re a big success.
I know people who’ve been at this for years and they’re still exactly the same dude they were when they started. I also know people who started a journey years ago, and then gave up because they either became too frustrated or too dejected.
Don’t be like either of these people. Realise you have to change, and approach that change with patience and persistence.
RagsToRich regularly writes articles on personal development at his website The Real Mind.
An interesting aspect of progress is that you might very well feel as if you are not progressing at all. In mid-2008 I remember that I went home rather frustrated. I had about a handful of great interactions with girls, and if I recall correctly, I made out with all of them. For some reason, though, nothing came from it. I had lost them at one point or the other. The usual reasons: escalating too hard, cockblocking, has to get up early the next day. In a just world I should have had sex with all those girls, but the actual results were less than glorious.
In moments like those it is easy to throw in the towel. No matter what “skill” you are working on --- learning a language, picking up a new sport or, heck, even seducing women --- roadblocks are unavoidable. Luckily, I kept a journal, which was the main reason I didn’t jot this night down as a “disaster”. As I looked back, skimming my “field reports” from three months back, I realised how incredibly far I had come. Once lucky to end up kissing a girl, was I now routinely “isolating” if not “extracting” them. Also, this recap motivated me far beyond that. My mentor Nashvilleplayboy from mASF said, “Have a look at those old reports again. It will blow your mind.” It really did.
None of us gets good overnight. This is also one of my objections against boot camps that promise you to turn you into a lothario in the course of a meagre weekend. We all take one step after another. We all hit roadblocks, and we all have those moments in which we ask ourselves whether all of this is really worth the effort. The standard path, i.e. settling for a random girl, doesn’t look that unappealing at times, and I understand why so many men do this. However, every time you push past your imagined limitations and reach a higher level, you will be fueled even more.
This did wonders for my game. As probably most guys, I started out with some rather vague goals, like “getting more sex” or “getting a girlfriend”. Then I focussed on getting just one “same night lay”. For some reason those kind of hookups have a certain mystique around them. Eventually, I got bored of those as well, and I began to really push the boundaries of how far I could get with a girl right here and now. The rest, as they say, is history.
Hosted by TheLetter
7PM on April 15, 2010
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Why should you make a change?
Well, its all about making the world more what you want it to be. What we all imagine it could be. Now, I would advise AGAINST everybody trying to become Don Juan or marylin Monroe. Instead I would say that, a SMALL change, is just what everybody needs.
And whilst it might require quite a bit of push initially.. We aren’t going too far.. And we aren’t going to overlook how it fits into your life. We just want to do enough, to increase your satisfaction, smooth over difficult patches, and bring in some more small and warm memories, that help your eyes glow, on that stormy night.
If that’s what you want. Then you might need some focus, and some intent, to initially brunt through the start, and get to that place. The challenge is.. Just don’t get TOO hooked, on the journey, cuz I’m only going to lead you through, to a nice little subtle change. So whilst you should be focused, and prepared to accept this small gift of learning. Also, be prepared to go back to your own life.
Where just that little bit of luster, adds fond memories for you to remember until you are old and crippled, looking back on your life with a warm glow.
It is more important, not just to change, but for most, not to get lost in it.
A Book by The Cost of Success writing as Taylor Truth
What We Find Attractive: The Mystique of Seduction
One of the most important aspects of my personal development was introducing checks that made me accountable for my improvement. Ways I kept myself accountable included: writing regular field reports, tracking relevant records, and finding friends and mentors to support me through my development.
All these sources of accountability actually stemmed from my field report writing. Early in my seduction career, I was inspired by a number of posters who made frequent field reports. Sleazy was one of them. For the beginning part of my career, almost every night out was recorded by a field report. As Sleazy pointed out in this newsletter, it is amazing to go back and read old reports and see how far I came.
In addition, writing field reports is a great way to let mentors find you. Historical fact: Sleazy and 60 Years of Challenge did not take notice of me because I PMed them asking for advice. Sleazy recognized me as a frequent field report poster, and started commenting when he thought there were areas he could really help me with (and he did). Similarly, Sixty noticed me due to my field reports which he though captured parts of his style. In addition, writing field reports allows you to gain the respect and friendship of other guys in similar boats. A great example of this is RagsToRich, who I first recognized when we were both hard-working beginners. We've been leapfrogging each other skill-wise since, partially by learning from the others' recent breakthroughs.
Most importantly, though, field reports are for you. Taking the time to write out a field report allows you to reflect on what happened and process it. It allows you to identify areas where you struggled, points you'd like to improve on, as well as points to be proud of and to be repeated. Even if not a single person comments on it, you still gain lots of benefits from recording what happened. After a while, you may choose to not publicize your reports for privacy reasons, but there is still a lot to be gained from the self reflections.
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