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"strange behavior is your signal to make a move" - Sixty
Every woman you meet will respond differently to sexual tension. Some can handle it easily and others start acting, well...a little strange. Whether she says "what" when you look at her, won't stop talking or constantly tries to bait you to break rapport, the truth is some women are simply tension AFC's. This can
be cute but it can also be a huge turn-off after a while.
One way to avoid this is to give her a slight break in the tension by making your overt physical move. This move lets her know you are definitely interested. Keep in mind, a lot of her unresolved tension comes from her worrying "does he or doesn't he like me?". Or as my friend TVA Oslo astutely pointed out "at first sexual tension can feel more weird than arousal for her". Basically she is wondering if you are feeling what she's feeling. You can help relieve some of that uncertainty.
For the chatterbox who deals with tension by talking the whole time you can quiet her with one quick kiss. You can't kiss and talk at the same time. For shy girls who seem nervous and fidgety, but stay relatively quiet, simply take her hand and start caressing it. She just needs a little bit of comfort and reassurance. The point of this moment is to solidify the connection you have been building with vibe, physically - thus reducing some of that uncertainty. It also creates comfort and a "we are in this together frame"
After this mutual moment there will still be tension but you won't get as much nervous chatter, her saying "what" when you look at her, and constant testing. She will start to calm down a little bit and enjoy the seduction. Again, by no means does this mean the tension over. It's only just begun, albeit there is a now a different type of tension brewing. (my teaser for a future newsletter)
The bottom line is if you wait too long to make your overt physical mutual escalation you are going to get women acting a little crazy in response to your sexual vibe. Inexperienced seducers usually mistake this strange behavior as a sign of low interest. All the more reason to make your "it's on" move quickly.
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I recently received an email in which a guy made an interesting observation while reading through my archive on mASF:
“In one of your post, you wrote how you had trouble sleeping next to a new girl at her place, and that it took you a few weeks to get comfortable. This wasn't a factor that you used to take away from your congruency and in your ability to bed women. Most guys on the other hand, would take situations like that, and think "There is something wrong with me, and therefore, I must correct this first" and then wouldn't be able to meet women because they feel like their unable to be congruent with who they think they have to be (perfect).”
I would agree that just being grateful for what you get is a great trait of a seducer. In fact, in my very first “field report” written in 2006 or 2007, when I was just dabbling with seduction, I ended up making out a girl, and I was stoked for days afterwards. It felt great that after having gotten virtually no experience with girls, I could just awkwardly walk up to a girl, stammer some sentences, hang around for a little bit and somehow end up making out with her. Of course, it all went downhill afterwards because I couldn’t quite process what just happened. Nonetheless, I did enjoy it.
However, what I often notice when I read other guy’s “field reports” is that they are beating themselves up over their alleged shortcomings. They don’t see what they have achieved --- talked to some girls even though it’s something they usually don’t do, maybe kissed her, maybe gotten a phone number. All of this beats sitting at home and playing World of Warcraft. Instead, those guys focus on what they have failed to achieve and blame themselves if they didn’t get the girl. Some of the most painful reports to read are from guys that get angry because they have gotten “last minute resistance”, i.e. the girl didn’t end up having sex with them. But what’s so bad about having a hottie in your bed you can make out with and feel up to your heart’s content?
We are not in the Olympics here. In the end it’s your choice. You can either cherish your successes however small or insignificant you think they are, or you can focus on your shortcomings. But which one will probably be the happier person and in the long run the more successful guy with women?
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Often times, guys are so hung up on doing the "right thing" or the "best thing" that they get caught up and don't do anything at all. This is among the worst possible courses of action.
It is not uncommon to go through seduction forums and see dozens of "What should I do in situation X?" questions, often from guys who have never approached in that situation but imagine what it might be like. Example: guys who want to approach moving girls on the street, but have never bothered trying once.
Another awful line of questioning is "What can I do to to get started in seduction?" It's such a vague question, and gives away the fact that the questioner probably hasn't even made any approaches recently.
The path to success is through failure.
Want to get into dancefloor game? Make some dancefloor approaches, see how you do. You might fail miserably at first, but who knows, you might also have some natural talent for it. The fact is, though, those first initial attempts give you a baseline to understand what you are capable of to start, and where to improve. Instead of trying to learn EVERYTHING, it allows you to identify smaller areas to improve and gloss over details you naturally have handled.
When in doubt, just dive in, try ANYTHING. Then go back and ask yourself what you could have done better. You have a lifetime full of opportunities ahead of you. Instead of worrying about succeeding with the next one, use it as a chance to gauge what you are capable of.
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