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Table of Contents:
Fellow seducers,
Welcome to The Seducer's Inaugural Newsletter. Since we're a brand new organization, I thought I'd introduce us with our mission statement:
The principals of The Seducers are a collection of guys with varying styles who have a number of things in common: A "what-works" approach to seduction, as well as an extensive history of being in field as practicing seducers. They are also united by a disdain for the practices of the mainstream "pickup" community, and strive to put out useful, no gimmicks content with the genuine intent of helping guys become successful seducers of women.
In the future, we'll be sharing a bi-weekly newsletter with content from principals in The Seducers. The theme of our inaugural newsletter is:
Demystifying The Kiss
Since we are launching on New Years Day, we're hoping this is topical for a lot of you. Did you kiss some exciting new girl on New Years Eve? Did you want to, but were unsuccessful? Did you kiss a girl, but find that wasn't enough to seal the deal? We've got articles from myself, Aaron Sleazy, and 60 Years of Challenge that challenge some of the prevailing assumptions about kissing girls that have been spread around the pickup community.
--TheLetter
Why All "Kiss Closes" Are Non-Verbal, by TheLetter
A lot of mainstream pickup schools of thought push canned verbal routines meant to get that first kiss out of a girl. Ultimately, these are a confidence crutch that will hurt a guy in the long run. Especially the guys that take them really overboard.
Here is an excerpt from a field report comment I made to a lair-buddy I'll call StructuredPUGuy a long time ago:
"5 kclose gambits? Were they all verbal? This kind of reminds me of the time we were in [REDACTED] and you were doing pretty well with a girl and stacking a bunch of kclose gambits, with no success. Later on, that girl told me, 'I probably would have kissed your friend if he didn't make such a big deal of it.'"
I had actually seen StructuredPUGuy make this same mistake a number of times, and that wasn't the last time a girl told me something similar after he'd failed to kiss her. He'd be talking with a girl, who was clearly attracted to him based on her non-verbals, and then he'd get it into his head to orchestrate a makeout using some canned line like "On a scale of 1-10 how good of a kisser are you?" or "Do you want to kiss me?" (and apparently at least 3 other rituals I can't remember off the top of my head). The complete obviousness of such moves would often put off the girl, and she would invariably say "No". Multiple times. Even many of the ones who really wanted to kiss him! The act of going through this ritual actually made the girl LESS likely to kiss him, not more.
Now, in all fairness, StructuredPUGuy did occasionally makeout with girls. A good number of them went along with his "gambits". And occasionally he would just happen to kiss a girl, without making a big production of it. The reality of the situation was that he was using these verbal first kiss rituals in order to get explicit verbal permission to kiss a girl, before doing so. To his credit, he was experienced enough that when he did get verbal permission, he'd be all in there.
The case for inexperienced guys can be much nastier. When I was first starting out, it had been years since I'd kissed a girl last. The thought of doing so made me very nervous. At first, I tried using the "Do you want to kiss me?" line multiple times. I'd deliver the line, hesitate, and eventually the girl would sense my hesitation and say "No" to break the tension. The repeated failures were very confusing. Looking back, I know exactly what went wrong. The line created a context under which to (lamely) kiss a girl, but it did not give me the balls to go in, take her, and press my lips against hers. For an inexperienced guy, memorizing and field testing these silly lines can be a big distraction from getting comfortable doing the physical actions necessary to kiss girls smoothly.
All kisses are physical actions.
If a girl is willing to kiss you, there are definite physical cues you can utilize that are a dead giveaway. There can be a lot of subtlety to this, but my personal fool proof indicator is physical proximity. If a girl allows you in her space, she obviously likes you enough to let you be that close to her. If a girl allows you to speak with your face an inch or so from hers, she has already given you permission to kiss her whenever you want. Developing the confidence to get that close to a girl, and then close that last inch is infinitely more powerful than any line someone else might sell you.
The real "kiss close" is taking action and making your lips meet hers. Regardless of what you did or didn't say beforehand.
Don't ruin the moment with something cheesy.
I'll leave you with a little FR excerpt that illustrates how smoothly it can be done:
"I see a very cute blonde walking through the lounge quite quickly. My first instinct is to be a dick and go 'What's the password?' I hold my arm out to stop her motion, and the blonde immediately hugs me. I hold her in an embrace and make a little meaningless conversation. Our faces are very close together, and she leans in about three times before I decide I might as well just lose the restraint. I tell her 'Well, if you're gonna keep pecking in like that...' and kiss her. This all went down in about fifteen seconds."
I didn't have to say anything at all in this situation, but I did just to be a little snarky about the fact that knew she wanted to be kissed, based on my makeout intuition, which I developed through a lot of experience kissing girls fast, and some tutelage from Sleazy. Quite a step up from girls telling me "No" when I used some lame verbal kiss ritual!
Developing Makeout Intuition, by Aaron Sleazy
There is more to “kiss closes” than meets the eye. Once you are at an intermediate level, it is time for you to work on your “make out intuition.” The goal is to arrive at a point where you can tell that the girl wants to be kissed. Whether or not you actually kiss her at
this point is up to you. There are certain benefits in not kissing her at the first opportunity. For instance, you may want to increase the
sexual tension between you and the girl -- and release it at a more appropriate moment. However, once you know that she is ready, you can just kiss her.
In fact, there is a certain magic to being able to tell that the girl wants to be kissed at a certain point, and acting on it. Compare this to what “pick up artists” do with their inane “verbal kiss close routines”, which kill the vibe of the moment, and the guy babbling about “sexual state” at the other end of the spectrum who is forcing himself upon the girl and repeatedly attempts to kiss her, until she either tells him to get lost or finally gives in. A seducer, on the other hand, sees the signal and is able to create a moment the girl will cherish. The next day, she will excitedly tell her friends, “Oh, it was so great. I felt as if he could read me like a book and knew exactly what I wanted.”
But how do you develop make out intuition?
Some years ago, when I spent a great amount of my time dancing with girls, and not putting much effort into actually seducing them, I made out with lots of girls, sometimes four or more a night. It was pleasant and non-consequential. But one night I went to a concert in a small bar in London. After the band was done playing, people either got ready to leave or ordered more drinks at the bar. A tall, dark-haired girls walked past me. Our eyes met, and her look was piercing me. I had seen this before -- in fact I had seen this dozens of times before --, and before I knew it, I was pulling her in and we were making out heavily. It was the first time I ever initiated an “instant make out.”
The key to this was that I simply recognised a certain look on this woman’s face, and because I am a rather bold guy, I did not hesitate to act upon it -- and I succeeded! Yes, the idea to just go for the make out (and not just a kiss), sounded insane to me at first, but I said to myself that I simply had to try it. It was the beginning of something great.
This doesn’t mean that I am able to randomly pull girls in and make out with them, even though it might look like this to some. However, once I recognise a certain expression on the girl’s face, no matter at which point we are in our interaction, I know that I can take the interaction to a more sexual level if I so desire.
No, you don’t need to be in possession of “make out intuition” to seduce many women, but if you want to become a seducer, a guy that understands women and knows how to give them an amazing experience, I am tempted to say that there is no way around acquiring this skill. It will feel rather gratifying for yourself when you know that you can just go for it and succeed, but it’s nothing compared to the effect it will have on the girl. Sometimes, it completely floors them, which opens up many more options. But since this newsletter is not about five minute bathroom pulls, I’ll end my contribution at this point and leave you dreaming about the powers you have the potential to achieve.
Learning That "It's On" Without Having To Kiss Her, by 60 Years Of Challenge
What if there was another way to find out if a woman liked you without having to try and kiss her first?
When most guys are talking to an attractive woman they usually worry about two things
1. Does she like me?
2. How can I create a powerful connection between us?
Most men think the only way to find out if a woman really likes them is by trying to kiss her. As such guys will spend the entire night trying to create the perfect moment to go for a kiss. Unfortunately that moment never comes. Sadly they wait until the end of night and then consider blindly lunging at her and hoping for the best. Instead most guys walk away and do nothing.
“Nice meeting you”
You really just wanted to kiss her to make the connection you guys had official. I mean be honest. There are probably hundreds of times in your life that you attracted a woman but you didn’t solidify that connection by making a physical move. Remember if you don’t make an overt mutual and physical move all of the attraction you built never becomes official. When you walk away it’s like it never happened. You just missed out on a great opportunity. Another quality woman you will never get to experience in this lifetime. What a shame.
What if I there was another way to create a connection and find out if she really likes you?
The Secret Shortcut
All you really need to create a powerful connection with a woman is a moment of mutual caressing. For example, caressing each others hands. I call this mutual physical contact The It’s On Moment.
An IOM is basically just the mutual and physical manifestation of the connection that has been building between you and a woman.
The key words here are mutual and physical.
For example:
· asking a woman for her phone number is not an IOM because getting her number is not physical
· using lots of incidental kino does not create an IOM because she is not touching you back, it’s not mutual.
· making a statement of interest doesn’t create a connection because it’s not mutual or physical
Mutual hand caressing is also powerful because it creates a “we are a new couple” type feeling inside of her. You guys are now on the same team. You are working together. This mutual moment also makes it more likely that she will continue to comply with future physical escalations and requests. There is also a lot of comfort built during mutual caressing which helps her feel safe being more physical with you.
Creating an It’s On Moment
It’s very easy…
Step 1: Take her hand
Step 2: Hold it for a few seconds
Step 3: Start lightly caressing her hand until she caresses your hand back
Keep in mind holding hands won’t create the same powerful feeling that mutual hand caressing will. Thus you will want to quickly transition from holding hands into mutual hand caressing. The reason you don’t hold her hand for too long is because women may associate the “holding on” with neediness.
Instead leave your hand slightly open and give her the opportunity to pull away or caress your hand. This small move is a great way to test her interest in you. From my experience, women with low interest may be able to fake many things, but they absolutely will not caress your hands.
Mutual hand caressing versus trying to kiss her
Besides being a great tool for creating a connection, testing for interest and building sexual comfort, mutual hand caressing has other advantages:
· You get more chances for hand caressing than going for a kiss
· You don’t have to create a perfect moment to try it
· Mutual hand caressing is easier to do with other people around
· You don’t have to get her alone first
· If you get resistance it requires almost zero damage control, you can try again
· Mutual hand caressing doesn’t reduce tension like lots of kissing can sometimes do
The It’s On Moment goes against most traditional thinking in the community which advocates using lots of touching. In fact the more touching you use the better they “claim” you are doing. I’m sure you have heard these same people tell you to “kino the shit out of her”.
If you really want to create a mutual connection with a woman instead of putting all of your focus on trying to touch her, you should simply make it easier for her to touch you.
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